Nain’s Advice - Gwenda Thain

The Welsh word for grandmother is Nain. My Nain, Gwenda was the 3rd of 13 children. Born in 1922, she spent her 20s and early 30s in London, after World War 2. She once connected a switchboard call between the UK Prime Minister and the US President. In London she wore the kind of extremely-fashionable clothes you can see in Austin Powers movies. She married, had my mom and moved to Canada. But, when her first husband died, she turned on a dime, married a fisherman and joined him, hauling in Chinook salmon in the frigid Pacific waters near Alaska. 

From the stories I've heard, she seemed to always do what she wanted to do. She wasn't really into kids, so we didn't talk much. Growing up she wanted to talk to me on the phone just about as much as I wanted to talk to her. So, annually I'd call and thank her for the $5 in my birthday card and then she'd ask if my mom was there.

But all of that changed when she and my mom came to visit us in London. I was the same age she was when she lived there, but I was stressed out. I had a new mortgage and I was determined to prove myself in a job that was a bad fit. She gave me a lot of advice that week, like she'd saved it all up until then, and I wrote it all down.

She said:  

• Be honest with yourself and follow your convictions.
• You’ve got to keep your own council. No one knows what I’m up to at any time. 
• When I have a confrontation I smile a lot.
• Over time a relationship becomes easier. You grow kinder toward one another and make more allowances.
• Collect garbage if that makes you happy; it doesn’t matter what people think.
• Whenever there is a problem and people are inquiring you just smile and say, “I’m fine.” They don’t need to know.
• Listen carefully to anyone who gives you advice.
• You’ve got to face things straight on, or they’ll still be there like a cancer
• If they ask you if you can do it, say you can. In 1963, they asked us, “Can anyone use a comptometer?” I told them I knew how. They’ll always show you once anyway. Just watch closely.
• Education is the most important thing in life for anybody. With education you can conquer the world.
• Be strong for yourself. You haven’t walked 31 years of your life for nothing.
• You’ve got to love yourself. That is important.
• Don’t go second rate on anything.

The last night I read this out loud to her, to make sure I had written everything down accurately. My mom listened in and then added at the end, “And don’t tell lies.” “Oh no,” her mom corrected her, “You’ve got to lie if it suits the world!”